Sometimes---okay--often--- these days I get really upset with Zoe--- my oldest who turns 3 in 3 weeks.
She does a LOT of hitting of her new sister and is in time out at least once every 2 hours. Teagan is so little and sweet that I am rarely frustrated with her---she isn't colicky or very demanding at all (in my opinion).
So... this highlights Zoe's crazed ways. She has plenty of good traits, too, but she also: tears around the house--- takes out all her toys at once, squeezes and hits her sister, screams "NO!" to her parents, gets immediately frustrated when something doesn't work, screams loudly for no reason, is bossy, is rude, won't stay in bed at night, and doesn't listen.
I love her to pieces and she's my girl--but... I can see that this little window into the future. Is Teagan's birth the turning point in our relationship? Am I getting too frustrated when I should be calm and allow her to let it out and then shower her with love even if she doesn't want it?
I am determined to have close, authentic relationships with my girls, but I cannot stand Zoe's behavior and most of our interactions involve conflict these last 2 months. Seth (my husband) says we are too alike. It's true.
So--in moments when she is sleeping and I look at her all quiet and still, I can remember what it was like to be little and not feel heard. Or feel replaced. Or to miss my mom. Or to just have a sad day or moment. I try to remember it for the next time I get angry with her.
Picture: Zoe as a baby
This is good. Know why? Because you're thinking about it. You're worried about it. You want to be the best mom you possibly can for your children. They feel your love regardless of how you express it, as long as it's real. Parents who agonize about these kinds of things are the ones who will have strong, lasting relationships with their kids. You're a great mom.
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